In the world full of good and bad, facts and drama, original and fake, nepotism and hard work, protocols, and privilege and many more, we all are trying our best to either fit in, stand out or escape.
The irony is most of us are trying to make a balance among all of the three. We wish to fit in a place which has less or no space for us, we want to stand out but not ready to take the risk, we want to escape but we do not want to work hard enough to make it possible. I am currently in such a situation. I am sure you might have also been or can be in such a situation. Through this blog, I want to share how I am trying to keep my focus undivided and my priorities upright to stay good and become a better person among all the chaos. I hope I will be able to help you with some of my experiences to develop skills to shift your focus on what is really important.
1. Self-inspection
I have an article in my medium draft yet to be published from past one month. The reason behind it being in the draft is, I add points to the article as I am learning. My goal was to finish the article last month but I could not. Few reasons could have been not a good prioritization of dynamic task, tiredness from monotonous routine, not learning or struggling to learn what the article demands, loss of focus, momentary engagements or fear to fail.
From the past few weeks, I have been spending a lot of time on social media after office hours. The online content is very addictive, it changes my sleep cycle and I end up waking up late and tired. I am very scared to admit that it has now become a bad habit. Time after my office is supposed to be the time I work on my articles or do some physical activity. Maintaining work-life balance is extremely tough and our cell phones have made it worse. Unhealthy eating habits like eating sugar-containing food is also a reason to loss of focus as it gives a momentary pleasure but play a huge role in rapid gain over a period of time and that adds up to few more goals in your list to focus.
So, that was my self-inspection of my current situation. Now, I am making choices to improve my current situation. I can not let it get worse. The first thing that I have instantly done is purchased a Machine learning certification course which I have been thinking of doing it for a long time and I should have done long back and guess what I have already started learning. Next, I am going to work out for an hour every day. Amongst all, I already feel victorious in one field of life that I am not influenced by negative people and circumstances around me. I have learned it from my past experiences and now I am cool. People and situations can be negative but that's not who I am. I am a very positive person. That is my personality. I am a winner today, with a bit of panic and support from family and my courage. I am a winner.
Also, writing this self-inspection and reading it loud multiple times a day has helped me to feel assertive and I have already drafted three blogs which I have been thinking of doing from a long time.
Self-inspection is always a big help. Especially when you write it down, draw or talk to your self loud. I have shared my self-inspection and it has really helped to understand my priorities, responsibilities, and things which needs my focus and now I am doing great.
2. Break all Shackles and never give up in chaos
If you are an adult, Chaos will always be a part of life. There is no general definition of Chaos. Everyone has their own definition. I am sure if you pay your bills you must agree with me. The money you earn are not just numbers, papers or metal pieces but are fruits nurtured with peace, love, faith, patience. But what if the earned money is the fruits nurtured with politics, backbiting, disbelief, tolerance. You might be able to eat(pay the bills) the fruit for a few months or maybe a year. In no time you will start falling sick. You can not afford to eat the fruit from the same tree. Changing the tree the very next day, week or months might not be an easy task and leaving the current tree will leave you starving and tourn.
So, what do you do? So, what could be the probable solutions to it?
3. Believe in yourself, every damn passing millisecond, second, minute, hours, days and months
You might be wondering why have I mentioned such small units of time. Because this is how the time passes when you are not in the correct place and with correct people. Lack of belief in oneself might lead the most efficient person to waste his time instead of investing his time. When you know your surrounding is not trustworthy, staying in such an environment may affect your basic principles and values.
How do you still keep faith in yourself alive and burning?
I am sharing what I do to keep my confidence, principles, and values intact.
I shift my focus. I draw a very strong boundary around myself by not associating with people with no or hollow values. Some might call me unsocial but I consider it healthy to preserve my energy and peace for better causes rather drain it all for vain.
Believe me, you would feel stronger if you refrain from participating in an unfaithful assembly. I also pray, I pray a lot to the almighty God, to give me the strength to fight back and stay calm and stable. Spirituality help me to keep patience, behave responsibly, and stay brave.
4. Sharpen the saw
Next, I sharpen my saw so if a calamity or negativity hits me I stand tall and strong. We get frustrated by life and our inability to cope, but instead of developing ourselves and taking the time to become more effective, we keep struggling with a blunt saw. You are the saw here. You must sharpen yourself. You must start taking effective steps to sharpen the saw. What do I do?
I shift my focus. I set well defined, realistic goals and sub-goals. I throw myself into the unknowns, I challenge my self to learn new things. I learn new things (things that are difficult and I fear)and I document them, I share it with the world. I associate and with people who can be positive support in this journey. I make time to practice compassion, care, love, and prayers.
Always remember in this 21st century when people do not have time for themselves finding a mentor who can teach you how is sharpen your saw is difficult. The time is running and you can not afford to interview mentors. So, I always recommend being your own mentor. You know your life the best. So, start now. Take complete control of your wellbeing. Focus on only those things that help you become a better and better person every day. “You don’t have to be great to start, you have to start to be great”.
5. Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you are doing impossible
Yes, everyone makes a goal. How many of us make sub-goals. Finishing a three months course of Artificial Intelligence might be our goal but it must be backed up by our subgoals to dedicate 1 hr daily to the lectures. We must practice self-discipline and remind our self every day of how this course is going to make a positive difference in our personal, professional and spiritual life. For me, it will help me work more efficiently, help me change my perspective to a problem statement, help me leap and lead, fill me with self-confidence.
You might have a different goal like shooting a youtube video, losing weight, establishing a relationship, saving for a cause. It all requires doing necessary things also called as small yet significant things. Start today and develop your focus. I am doing it currently by writing this blog. As I am writing this blog, I am helping myself to understand what are the necessary things I should start doing.
But, I am also in a zone where I have completed doing necessary and possible things and I am tired and struck with fatigue to do things I think are impossible or tough (work that demands a lot of focus). What should I do? In my life, there are multiple factors to reason this out. But I do not want these reasons to pull me back again to the place where I have to start doing the necessary things. Before it is too late, I will collect all my energy, redefine my goals and my motive, visualize myself with the winner's trophy and perks, visualize how it is going to bring a change in people who look up to me, visualize people getting encouraged when I finish the unfinished.
6. Build sustainable relationships
Yes, this is the world of professional, personal and spiritual social media. It is so easy to click and connect with thousands of people in no time. Not just with the help of social media but at our workplace, society and just like that we meet so many people with a completely different journey and experience of life. There could be just one person in a group of ten people who might advise, encourage, agree, motivate, give healthy criticism, be there, share, empathize with you truly. I request you to nurture and respect such relations. This could be a way to shift your focus from toxic people to a positive one. The quote says “True happiness comes from within”, but why do people forget “True sorrow also comes from within”. So, If you are a human and happiness never decreases by being shared then my dear friend sorrow do decrease by being shared.
So, build a sustainable and respectful relationship which makes you feel good about yourself and your day to day life and experience. I have my beautiful husband, my mom, my dad, my sister.
I have learned a beautiful thing now while writing this blog.
Happiness never comes to those people who do not appreciate whatever they have. I must start practicing this one. I must practice gratitude.
Conclusion
So, my dear friends, I can go on and on writing points but for now, let us start practicing these six points. I might add a few points later to this blog if I experience something new. All I want you to know that “All power is within you, you can do anything and everything” by Swami Vivekananda. I feel a lot better after writing this blog. Do give claps if I could help you feel a little better today and you want this to reach to people you think might need this. Also, you can give your kind feedback in the comment section. This would really encourage me. Thank you for taking the time to read the blog.
